Laugh!! I laughed so hard I nearly @#$% myself.
In the interest of better health, and after exhaustive research, I provide for your edification and endorphin production, literary humor sampled from the internet < Note: I said researched, not plagiarized 🙂 >
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” ― Steven Wright
“Writers don’t have lifestyles. They sit in little rooms and write. – Norman Mailer
“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” – Stephen King
“I get a lot of big ideas, and occasionally I come up with one myself.” – Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Over Enthusiastic
“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.”
– Doug Larson
“Behind every Plagiarism there is Google” ― Vikash Shrivastava
“The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.” – S.J. Perelman
And then there was the story about a linguistics professor lecturing to his English class. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
(borrowed from http://www.jokebuddha.com/web/8HJ/Writer)
There’s always a “smart arse” somewhere, thankfully, otherwise the world would be a much duller place.